Sometimes the days are realllllllllly long

Today was a good day.  EJ went to school, Nora hung with me. I picked EJ up from school and rather than going home for naps, we went to Amy's house for the afternoon since I knew Omar had to work late. This was win-win: EJ got to play with her bestie Elliott, and I got to spend time with my bestie Amy.  Plus Nora naps anywhere and Amy has a new baby so basically we spend our time sitting around nursing our nuggets while making sure our toddlers don't kill each other.

The fine line always is missing the nap. On the one hand, she only actually naps every 3 days or so. On the other hand, at the end of the week adding on a super-awesome 5 hour playdate with her favorite playmate is a recipe for exhaustion. Which leads me to the looooooooooooooong part of the day, and what people without kids probably don't understand: a really great day can become an agonizingly long day so very quickly, and in just the final hour or two before bedtime.

We got home. There were tears on her part just getting out of the car (how dare I ask her to carry in her bookbag, didn't I know how HEAVY it was???)  EJ needed dinner but didn't want to eat anything I made nor actually sit down.  In the final 30 minutes of her day between arriving home and eating dinner, she went to timeout 4 times. At bedtime, getting her upstairs and ready for bed was another massive fight that ended in tears for both of us and makes me worried about the teenage years.  And all I can think is that such a fun day, one that involved laughing, learning, singing, running, jumping, climbing, exploring, and getting dirty (in a good way) could end so badly, so that her last memories of the day were of frustration, anger, and tears. That's not how I want her day to end. That's not what I want her childhood to be filled with, and yet so many days end that way. I hope I am not the only mom who can claim that.

So, after I left her crying, locked in her bedroom, seeing red because she refused to put on her pullup and I couldn't physically force her nor mentally threaten her to do it, I sat and cried at the top of the stairs and realized that I shouldn't have to take either of those approaches, and I didn't want her day to end that way.  And my amazing husband came home (FINALLY) from work right at that moment and said the magic words that all wives want to hear: 'What can I do to help" and I was able to unload on him and rather than crucifying me for my appalling actions he said he understood and we have all been there (which I don't know if I believe but it did make me feel better).

And then I was able to pull it together and go back in there and apologize to my daughter. Because I think it is important to always say you are sorry, to admit when you have behaved badly, to own it. And I held her and hugged her and kissed her all over and let her know how very much I love her, and how she is the most important little person in my life. And I can only hope and pray that her take-away from tonight, what she remembers, is that her mom is a normal person who can make mistakes and act badly, but that at the end of it all, her mom is also someone who can own her mistakes, say she is sorry, and that - NO MATTER WHAT - I love her more than life.

She got lots of extra snuggles from me. And probably the authors of the kid discipline books out there would be horrified by my actions (since, let's be honest, she was a total nightmare and rather than standing my ground I totally folded and wrapped her in hugs and kisses and love), but I'm ok with that.  Sometimes we all need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and look at the bigger picture and the smaller moments. My big picture here was that no one is more important or loved than my daughter. My smaller moment is that she was shattered, and she needed my love. And she got it. She always will.

The truth about going from 1 to 2 kids

My peeps

If you follow my blog then you are familiar with my concerns before Nora was born about having a second child. Will I neglect Everett because I have a second human being to keep alive? Will Everett be upset/jealous/left out/sad to have to share me with her new sister?  But most importantly: Will I be able to love the new baby as much as I love Everett?  

Of course everyone tells you not to worry, that it becomes even better, that it all works itself out. And one part of me said "they can't all be wrong" while the other, secret part of me whispered "they have to say that in order to not feel guilty and look like a bad mom."

So, here's the truth. The I've-had-two-glasses-of-wine-after-too-little-sleep, bare-bones truth. 

My loves

They were right. 100% right. If I am being completely honest, I think I fell in love with Nora much faster than I did with EJ.  And this is why: with your first child (at least for me) you aren't sure what to expect. You are terrified and thrown to the wolves. You have no idea what you are doing or what comes next. For me, it was such an enormous life change that it took me a bit of time to totally get it, to completely fall into a drowning, all-encompassing love with my daughter. Of course I loved her, but I didn't have that huge BOOM moment when she was born like you see in the movies and read about in the books. It was a gradual obsession (that has turned into a full-on, complete over-the-top obsession that perhaps could/should be a Lifetime Movie) and it took a while. It took a while to get to know her, to get to know me as a mom and Omar and I as "parents". It was all such a new experience, a new label, a new way of being. And let's be honest: newborns are basically blobs.

But when Nora was born, there was none of that learning curve. I already understood how awesome she was going to be, the amazing person she would become.  I was also incredibly aware of just how quickly the time would pass and how the stages would fly. And so I was able to appreciate every second from the moment she was born. I was acutely aware of just how quickly that newborn blob stage would go and rather than looking ahead to the next "milestone" she might hit, I was able to just BE in the moment, soak it all in, and appreciate and love her for exactly who and what she was that second. In pondering all of this for this blog post, I have often wondered if the drama and stress we went through when she was born has anything to do with this. I am guessing it does. That experience really drove home how precious a happy, healthy baby is and made me appreciate her even more. 

But regardless, I know this is true: Everett taught me how to love a child. She paved the way for her sister, and I love Nora hugely and all-encompassingly only because EJ showed me how. I can honestly say that I really and truly don't have a favorite, and don't love one more than the other - our parents weren't kidding about that (slightly disappointing, I was SURE I was my parents' favorite). But I do admit to falling in love with Nora faster, and that is only due to the amazing gift that EJ gave me in teaching me to love another being in a way that I never knew until she was born. 

And you know what else is just as awesome as everyone claimed? Seeing the two of them love and enjoy each other. Everett is so much more amazing than I could have ever anticipated with Nora. She adores her baby sister and is as sweet as can be with her (this is a slight change from my relationship with MY little sister growing up - I was not exactly the nicest, most loving big sis when we were little, but to be fair, she was super-annoying). And Nora clearly loves her big sister, she watches everything she does and saves the best belly laughs for her. I can't wait to see them grow together and all the years of fun (and I am sure some fighting too) they have ahead of them. 

BFFs!

It's hard to remember what it was like with only 1 child. I am so thankful for the 3 years Everett and I had together. But I will totally own the cliche and say "I wouldn't change it for the world."  My two girls are the most amazing little people on this planet and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

My life would be so empty without these people.

Nora P is 7 months old!

Where oh where does the time go?  Has it really been SEVEN MONTHS since this little nugget graced our presence? It has been such an amazing, exhausting, enlightening seven months, made all the better by this kid's huge gummy smile every time you look at her.  She is SUCH an easy baby. I feel like everyone says that, we even said it about Everett. But even Everett wasn't this easy.  We have had exactly ONE time when she cried for no (apparent) reason and we weren't able to immediately fix it...and that only lasted maybe 10 minutes.  She is so sweet-natured and easy to read. She is, for the most part, a fantastic sleeper. She likes everyone and is indiscriminate with her smiles and affection.  I have told Omar numerous times that if I could guarantee another baby like her, I would be 100% in for having a 3rd.

Here she is showing off her first tooth.
Don't worry if you can't see it, it has still barely come in.

My super-happy girl. 

Sleepover

The excitement EJ had about the prospect of Elliott
sleeping over in her room was beyond adorable.
What could go wrong?

EJ's favorite show these days is Doc McStuffins (super cute about a little girl who is a doctor for all her toys) and they recently had an episode about Doc going to a sleepover. So of course EJ has been all about having her own sleepover, and at the top of her list for such a momentous event were the Rossi boys.  So last Saturday Amy, James, and their boys came over!

These two are such trouble and just so stinking
cute together. 

Elliott and EJ play so incredibly well together, they are like brother and sister and totally crack us up (and wear each other out).  It was so much fun to have the whole family over, the kids played all afternoon and then after they went to sleep, the adults had game night!  Total success and can't wait to do it again soon!

Nora and Andrew becoming fast friends.

SPRING! We are ready for you!

Give us the slightest reason to be outside and we will take it.

This winter has been brutal. Seriously, Spring.....we are more than ready for you. Any excuse we have we are trying to get outside, but it is so hard with the rain, the snow, the wind, the freezing temps....uhg. 

It was like 55* here, but sunny....so out we went
to ride bikes.

SO ready for these beautiful days to be the norm again....and we are SO CLOSE!

It was overcast here but almost 70*....I'll take it!

Getting out of town

Charleston Food & Wine Festival!

Omar had to go to Germany for a week for work, so I took the opportunity to take the girls over to Charleston for a long weekend.  We spent two nights having a "sleepover" with the Tufts and then three nights with Pop-E and Mama-J.  As a bonus, Omar was able to change his flight to fly home via Charleston, so he joined us for the second half of the trip! As an even bigger bonus, Mama-J and Pop-E offered to watch the girls so we could go out to dinner downtown Saturday night and to the Charleston Food & Wine Festival on Sunday. HUGE thanks to them for that, particularly since the week leading up to it was one of the most stressful in recent memory.

Pop-E with his girls

The weather over the weekend was fantastic so we spent it all outside, visiting several local parks and going on a nice long walk which included a stop at a toy store for EJ - she was thrilled. 

Taking the babies out for a walk!
(Note: EJ's "baby" is her lamby)

Beautiful day at the park!

Daddy's shoulders are the best!

Silliness with Mama-J

Paddle-boat ride!

As usual EJ, Brayden, and Peyton were like three peas in a pod and had an absolute blast together. They are so similar and play really well together, so it was a ton of fun. Plus there isn't much better than catching up with my oldest and dearest friend 

Nora gets to know Aunt Kristen and BFF Peyton

Three tiny troublemakers.

The three of them spent a lot of time filling Peyton's crob with EVERY.SINGLE.STUFFED ANIMAL in the house, then hiding under it all. So cute.

It was a wonderful weekend and a nice end to an otherwise very stressful week!

Nora P's 6 month stats

Clearly she didn't realize she was getting shots.

Finally made it to the doctor for Nora's 6 month checkup!  Here are her official stats:

16lb 8oz

26.75" long

17.87" head circumference

Her growth has evened out a bit, in that when she was born she was in the 99th% for each category, but now she is in the 51st% for weight and 76th% for height. Her head is still off the charts, but that is just to accommodate her huge brains.  =)

Never would have guessed this kid had a double ear infection.
Good thing we had a checkup!