The truth about going from 1 to 2 kids

My peeps

If you follow my blog then you are familiar with my concerns before Nora was born about having a second child. Will I neglect Everett because I have a second human being to keep alive? Will Everett be upset/jealous/left out/sad to have to share me with her new sister?  But most importantly: Will I be able to love the new baby as much as I love Everett?  

Of course everyone tells you not to worry, that it becomes even better, that it all works itself out. And one part of me said "they can't all be wrong" while the other, secret part of me whispered "they have to say that in order to not feel guilty and look like a bad mom."

So, here's the truth. The I've-had-two-glasses-of-wine-after-too-little-sleep, bare-bones truth. 

My loves

They were right. 100% right. If I am being completely honest, I think I fell in love with Nora much faster than I did with EJ.  And this is why: with your first child (at least for me) you aren't sure what to expect. You are terrified and thrown to the wolves. You have no idea what you are doing or what comes next. For me, it was such an enormous life change that it took me a bit of time to totally get it, to completely fall into a drowning, all-encompassing love with my daughter. Of course I loved her, but I didn't have that huge BOOM moment when she was born like you see in the movies and read about in the books. It was a gradual obsession (that has turned into a full-on, complete over-the-top obsession that perhaps could/should be a Lifetime Movie) and it took a while. It took a while to get to know her, to get to know me as a mom and Omar and I as "parents". It was all such a new experience, a new label, a new way of being. And let's be honest: newborns are basically blobs.

But when Nora was born, there was none of that learning curve. I already understood how awesome she was going to be, the amazing person she would become.  I was also incredibly aware of just how quickly the time would pass and how the stages would fly. And so I was able to appreciate every second from the moment she was born. I was acutely aware of just how quickly that newborn blob stage would go and rather than looking ahead to the next "milestone" she might hit, I was able to just BE in the moment, soak it all in, and appreciate and love her for exactly who and what she was that second. In pondering all of this for this blog post, I have often wondered if the drama and stress we went through when she was born has anything to do with this. I am guessing it does. That experience really drove home how precious a happy, healthy baby is and made me appreciate her even more. 

But regardless, I know this is true: Everett taught me how to love a child. She paved the way for her sister, and I love Nora hugely and all-encompassingly only because EJ showed me how. I can honestly say that I really and truly don't have a favorite, and don't love one more than the other - our parents weren't kidding about that (slightly disappointing, I was SURE I was my parents' favorite). But I do admit to falling in love with Nora faster, and that is only due to the amazing gift that EJ gave me in teaching me to love another being in a way that I never knew until she was born. 

And you know what else is just as awesome as everyone claimed? Seeing the two of them love and enjoy each other. Everett is so much more amazing than I could have ever anticipated with Nora. She adores her baby sister and is as sweet as can be with her (this is a slight change from my relationship with MY little sister growing up - I was not exactly the nicest, most loving big sis when we were little, but to be fair, she was super-annoying). And Nora clearly loves her big sister, she watches everything she does and saves the best belly laughs for her. I can't wait to see them grow together and all the years of fun (and I am sure some fighting too) they have ahead of them. 

BFFs!

It's hard to remember what it was like with only 1 child. I am so thankful for the 3 years Everett and I had together. But I will totally own the cliche and say "I wouldn't change it for the world."  My two girls are the most amazing little people on this planet and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

My life would be so empty without these people.